Tuesday, March 31, 2009

But it's better if you do

Borrowed from a Panic at the Disco song (and I think they borrowed it from a book).

Boy, what a day! I've been sick off and on since yesterday. I feel like crap but there has been too much going on so I've been fighting the urge to crawl in bed and stay there all day. I think tomorrow I can afford a bit of rest before my lessons post but then it's back to the grind stone. I want to go to bed right now but I need to get the kids off to bed and I had to post my "B" alphablog because it would really suck to trip up and fail on day FREAKING TWO!!

Blogs, I enjoy reading blogs when people put interesting things on them to read. I also enjoy writing on my blog, but there is that fine line between being brutally honest and sharing everything and put only what you are willing to have read and repeated back to your face put out there. Still, to the people whose blogs I read, get off your ass and write something dang it!!

Baths, my kids always want to take a bath, not a shower. I don't blame them, it's pretty relaxing to sit in that warm water and just relax, or in their case play. I have a ton of rubber duckies, I mean literally I have like 600+ rubber duckies due to a fluke spontaneous purchase during the time of trying to make my marriage work. So yeah, bath time is a riot. If I'm ever rich, I want a house with a nice big tub I can take a nice bath in. I don't like to take baths very often, oddly enough I don't enjoy being wet so the quicker I can get into a shower, soaped up, rinsed off, and out on dry land again the happier I am, but it would be nice to have a nice tub for those times when I did feel like a real bath. Maybe there would even be room for me and all my duckies. ;)

Boyfriends, so I'm single again, and I have no idea what to do with that. I married my first boyfriend, and honestly, when he and I "dated" we really only went on like four dates total. The rest of the time was "hanging out". The idea of actually dating again terrifies me. I think I could be okay with being single forever, except at the same time I would like to have other experiences. I guess I'll let time work that one out for me. In the meantime, it makes a great topic for a book.

Books, man I love books. I have tons of books, everywhere. And then you have my dream of someday writing a few of my own. I'm going to have to get a lot more disciplined before I can do that though, right now I'm too flighty and I don't commit enough. I need to get my rear in gear and get to it. I'll admit though, every time I'm at a store that sells books, when I pass the book section I do a quick visualization exercise and see my book there on the shelf. Maybe I should work on some visualization exercises on editing, as that's where I am stalling now.

Brett Erlich and Ben Hoffman, two of the guys who make InfoMania wonderful. Brett has now branched off to have a second show called The Rotten Tomatoes Show on Current, I believe I've mentioned it before here. Ben is of course the tech report guy and Brett is the Viral Video Film School professor, among other tidbit parts on InfoMania. If you haven't checked it out yet, click a link and check it out.

Birthdays, my sister had a birthday this past Sunday, and I called but didn't get through to her, so Happy Birthday Sis, and I hope you had a good one!!

Better stop there. I'm feeling light headed and it's time to turn in. I hope you all have a beautiful night and a wonderful Wednesday!! I'm hoping to feel better by then so I can be back to 100%, and then if I could get a job interview or win the lottery that would just top the day off wonderfully. Or heck, why not have both?! ;) Take care!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Alpha blog challenge

Aloha! I'm starting the alpha blog challenge, 26 consecutive posts each beginning with the letters of the alphabet. I'm trying to get my blogging more regular (kind of like Metamucil for the soul I guess), so lets see if this helps. Now what to blog about?

Admiration, that's a good one. I admire people who go after what they want, who have beautiful senses of humor, and occasionally I'll sit back and admire the attractiveness of someone who has a personality tick that intrigues me.

Animals, I miss my pets. I bought a book on kittens at the book fair thinking it would be a way to look at the cute little snuggums but instead it just depresses me that I can never have a cat again. I have had pets my whole life practically, and I'll admit that not having one is really kind of depressing, especially since it isn't a temporary situation but pretty much permanent. Maybe I'll get a guinea pig.

Allergies, tied into the above, I hate stinking allergies! My poor kids, their lives are altered because of them. I blame my ex, he was the one that was always allergic to everything. I'm only allergic to medication. I seriously think I need to go see a professional allergy doc though, I just have to fight with my regular doc to get the referral. Why, with two children with allergies I cannot just ask for that appointment I don't know. Stupid rules!

Advice, you know that old saying about advice and assholes? Hee, that cracks me up. I get lots of advice right now. There is something about going through a divorce and looking for a job that just seems to be a neon beacon for people to come to me and dump advice on me. I get that people are trying to help, but some of the advice is just flat out stupid. I guess you just have to be a penguin in that situation and smile and wave, boys, just smile and wave.

Affection, I miss the kind of affection you get from a true partner. Granted I haven't really had it for years, my ex was MIA and AWOL long before he finally moved out, but I remember the tender moments from when we had them. There are times when you just want to be held, because being held lets you know that it will be alright. I miss that. Thankfully my kids love to give me affection so hugs and kisses are always rained upon me, but it would be nice to just be held by someone who makes it alright again.

Aggravation, my ex still frustrates me regularly, but I'm trying to get to the point where that stuff doesn't bother me. It's frustrating to still be looking for a job. I could do so many things if I could just find a company to give me a chance. I know if I hang in there it will happen, it's just getting frustrating because I need a job already.

Awesome, first I love this word and use it way too much, and second things I think are awesome this week: Twitter, InfoMania, Writing Quotes, Post-it notes, and small journals. Hmm, maybe I should make that a weekly thing too. I'll consider it.

Addictive, I'm off Dr. Pepper for a bit again, I guess I haven't had one in probably six days or so although I'll admit I'm pining pretty badly so if I get out today I might pick one up. Also there is a patchwork game at BigFishGames.com that is addictive in that it never seems to end!! I got up to level 93 after playing for two days (coming and going) and then I accidentally hit the wrong button and moved away from the page and so of course I had to start over. AAARRGGGHHH!!!! I didn't, I wasn't going to spend another two days working my way back up to there, but if anyone does make it to the end, leave me a comment and tell me how many levels there are in total, please?? I'm guessing there are 100, but I'll never know. :(

Accomplishment, I finished the leopard costume for my daughter this weekend. She is in a play on Thursday and so we were supposed to buy a sweat suit and alter it into a leopard costume. Have I mentioned here before that I don't sew? Or hey, how about the fact that in March nobody sells sweatsuits because it's spring and never mind the snow outside, we are selling bikinis and shorts!! I scoured the internet and every company in town and finally found one place that would order her a suit in her size. She really needed yellow but nobody had yellow so she ended up with white and so she's a snow leopard I guess. Anyway, we got the suit, painted spots all over it, whipped up a tail and ears and I'm done with it. My ex was here and he did help with some of the painting and he did stitch the tail to the pants after I finished making the tail, but I did stitch the ears and the tail itself. Yea me, right?

Accounting, hee, I just remembered two of my online classes start with "A" so here we go. I am taking fundamentals of accounting and I have such a love/hate relationship with it, it's not even funny. I like working with the numbers, I like filling out the little ledgers and journals, etc, but some of the logic there just is way over my head. Assets increase with debit? Liabilities increase with credit? That just doesn't seem right. I used to want to be an accountant because I loved money math, now I realize accounting has it's own math system and I'm not so enamored with it anymore.

Administrative Assistant, okay I really do not like this class. It's not hard, not really, but it is like slogging through mud. I'm not interested in what they are teaching, I fail to see how it's relevant, and I feel like it's a waste of time and money. I'm not sure what I thought they would teach me in this course, but apparently it isn't what they have been teaching me. I can't wait for this one to end and be done with.

Anything else? Hmm, well I'm still looking for a job, still editing Empathy, still trying to get back into writing, although I haven't written on Mirror Man or Hudson House in like three weeks. Yesterday I did write some on a new story called "Not Really Looking", which so far is all me and kind of a purge/story combo. I'll either alter it later to fictionalize it or I'll save it for my eyes only and leave it at that. I'm not really interested in shopping around my own real life story. ;) This week will be busy as I have appointments Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and I need to get out there and return my videos and library stuff before I get fines. Hopefully I'll get some job interviews in there as well. Fingers crossed!!

As always, take care of yourself, and have an awesome day!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tweet Tweet!

Okay, so I'm loving Twitter!! How does anyone get anything done, I don't know, but I promised I'd get back to my editing so this will be quick.

Sergio Cilli is trying to get to 200 followers by the end of the day, so if you read this, head over and follow him (why does that make me think of religious leaders when I see "followers"? no idea). Click his name for the link. He is the music man who does "Sergio's White Hot Top Five" on InfoMania, and he's awesome, so go follow him. He'll lead you to great music, unless it's a crap top five for the week. ;) Just kidding, even the crap top five have redeeming qualities, like showing you what music not to download. I'll admit Sergio has turned me onto several artists I hadn't heard of before and helped launch me into the world of buying MP3's, so go Serg for dragging this girl out of the pre-digital age funk. ;)

While you are at it, head over to Current and check the whole team out, cause seriously, those people are entertaining. The whole InfoMania team is awesome, and that goes to all the people behind the scenes as well as the talent in front of the green screen as well.

Now I seriously have to get away from this screen and edit my book. Have a great day and hug someone you love, and if you don't have someone to hug, well leave me a comment or send me an email and I'll send some love your way. ;) I've got plenty to share. Peace, Love, and Sunshine!

Mired but still Fighting

Hello, seriously I suck at this daily journaling thing. If journaling was something you could do five times a year and be good, I'd be golden, but remembering to be regular at it, that's hard. It's not that I don't have things to say, goodness no, I could blather on all day long, it's just taking the time to sit and type it all out and post it here that is the stickler.

Well what's new, hmm. I'm enrolled in some online classes. I'm taking accounting, admin assistant, Excel and computers for the workplace. All in the hopes that I'll get a job soon, high hopes, high hopes. Computers for the workplace is a cake walk, it's stuff I learned years ago but I'm hoping there will be a few tidbits in there I didn't know about before. Administrative Assistant is interesting, although kind of scary. Excel is a lot more fun than I thought it would be, I thought that would be the hard class and instead, it's the one I want to play on all the time. Accounting is kicking my rear. I'm so glad I took this class before enrolling in a whole four year accounting degree program, I would have been miserable!! I love money math, but Accounting takes money math and warps it into accounts, and accounts are weird! I'm trying to learn the whole "assets increase debit, liabilities increase credit" thing. That seems so backwards to me!! The only way I understand it is that it doesn't make any sense so it has to be that way. I'm hoping it will click in soon. Then there is the whole double reporting accounts, that warps my brain a little too. I'm doing well with it but I am very confused.

On the writing front I'm stalled out. I haven't written in two weeks. I've been trying to edit Empathy and I'm failing. I suck at macro editing, I have the first two chapters that need to be whittled down and reworked into a single chapter, and I can't seem to do it. I want to pull my hair out, scream, and burn the damn thing in effigy. Maybe I will, I still have it electronically backed up. I'm determined to get through it today if I have to tie myself to a chair to do it.

In other news, I am attempting to Twitter. Considering how frequent I am here you can imagine how great I'll be at that (not to mention do I ever do anything interesting enough to tweet about? I'm not sure). Conor Knighton, the host of infoMania, mentioned he twittered and I followed his link to check it out. Now I have all the people from infoMania followed, as I love those people. InfoMania was the one and only show I would watch, but now I also watch The Rotten Tomatoes show with Brett Erlich and Ellen Fox, and I am actually watching a show on television again (pause to gasp in shock), I'm watching Castle, with Nathan Fillion. I love Nathan Fillion, he's very entertaining to watch and also watching the main character, who is a writer, go through his though processes is pretty interesting. Although I will say, episode three did not have so much of the "writer" part in it. We'll see how long I can stand watching TV again before I give it up again.

Speaking of the writer process, I love to hear about how other writers do their thing. Well heck, I love to hear about how anyone does their thing, no matter what the job is. I chatted up the Department of Transportation guys at the job fair two weeks ago on how you make asphalt and the different purposes of surface materials, why? Well it's kind of interesting for one, and they were very friendly and willing to talk for two, and heck, you never know when that information might come in handy for three.

My process? Well first I get a bud of an idea, an image, a question, a person, and I start turning it over in my mind, like a pretty rock I'm trying to identify. Then come the questions, who is this, why is this, what is this, who cares? I keep asking questions and more and more of the idea comes into view, and then if I didn't start with a character, one will step out of the ether and begin to talk or react, and I'm looking at this person, and they begin to take shape and form and develop. I watch them, listen to them, see them move through situations and discover new things. Usually another character or two will slip out then, and they start to interact, further flushing themselves out. Then I start to see where they are headed, what they are doing, why the initial idea was important. I let them talk and play and explore in my head for a week or two, sometimes more, then one day, I sit down, and I write.

I also have an "office" where my characters apparently enjoy meeting up with me and chatting. It's odd because when they chat in my head, they discuss with each other, they don't interact with me at all, I'm an invisible observer, however when I'm in my "office" they step out and speak to me directly. They tell me what they are unhappy with, what they want to do, what they don't want to do, they crab at me for not writing about them, or for writing the wrong thing. Yep, they talk to me, in my "office", which happens to be my shower, I suppose because that's the one place in the world where for a few minutes I get peace and quiet and solitude, so why not have the spectres of the brain come out and harass me in there?? Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I'm beginning to think you have to be a little crazy in order to be a writer. At the very least your normal has to be skewed a bit.

Other than that I've just been dealing and wheeling. I did get out this weekend and saw Paul Blart Mall Cop. Kevin James is funny. He has some skills on a sequeway too! I have no idea if that's the correct way to spell sequeway, I'll just say that now as I'm not sure spell check will know what the heck I mean and correct it. The kids just started school again after having a week off for spring break. They had a pretty good time, we went up to the Oklahoma Aquarium and to visit some family and then their cousins came out and spent some time with them and they went camping with their dad. I think they also went to the zoo and saw a couple of movies with their dad too (yes, while camping). They also went fishing and apparently caught several fish although they had to throw them all back because they didn't have something to bring them home in and my daughter was upset because she wanted to cook and eat her fish. Too funny! Oh, speaking of fish, at the OK Aquarium we saw a 98 pound blue catfish, that thing was a monster!! I love seeing huge fish, although sometimes they scare the crap out of me.

All in all, not too bad. The weather is getting warmer, although that means I'll have to clean the yard soon, which means the risk of snakes. I hate snakes, I hate them, I hate them I hate them, they scare the crap out of me. I'm such a wimp. I'm seriously considering moving into an apartment just so I don't have to deal with snakes. Of course with my luck, they would still end up there. Still, I prefer the warmer weather to the cold weather, and it's nice to be able to run around in shorts again.

Well I better get off here and see the kids off to school. I hope you have a beautiful day and take care of yourself!