Hello again. I know, my updating skills suck. I just have a hard time being regular about much of anything. Let's see what's been going on.
Job hunt is still on but getting warmer. I had an interview this past week with a CDC (child development center) for the position of a receptionist. I figured it would be a great cross over from my teaching days to my new office clerk days. The director really liked me, she thought I was really funny and she was really interested in my book. I think she will be calling me this week to talk about a position. The only problem? The receptionist has to drive the bus. Well first off, I don't have a CDL, and second off, even if I did I don't think I could handle driving something as big as a bus, and third off, even if I could drive something that big, I don't think I could do it full of kids. Bummer. She mentioned they have a part time position with the infants though, and I'm considering that. I didn't want to get back into working with the children, but the hours would allow me to get home before my kids get home from school and I would get to spend time with babies, which should take care of the baby fever that springs up from time to time. We'll see, it will depend on the pay and benefits but I'm hopeful. The medical center I interviewed with week before last also called and approached me with a developing project of digitizing all their old medical files. I love the idea of a challenge like that! I don't know that I'm the right person for them but I'm meeting with them on Monday to discuss my recommendations for the project.
My kids are getting closer to finishing the school year. They just had the land run at school this past Friday and my son was in the performance. They really love their school and they both were awarded with student of the month at the awards ceremony and my daughter won best dressed girl for her costume as well. They are really happy there, I'm so happy for them.
As for me, well I haven't been writing, I am behind in my lessons and I'm behind in my housework. I'm also fighting off some kind of sinus thing. I thought it was a cold but I'm beginning to think it's an allergy thing due to the hay from the rabbit. All I know is I'm miserable a lot and sneezing a lot.
I rented a few movies this weekend and watched The Women, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Seven Pounds. The Women kicked my ass, I don't know why I rented a movie about a woman who finds out her husband is having an affair. I cried when she found out and was dealing with it. Apparently I'm still too raw for that. The Day the Earth Stood Still was pretty good, although my son and I did not like the insects that ate everything. We are both scaredy cats and cowered while my daughter informed us when it was safe to look again. Seven Pounds confused me at the beginning then when I figured it out I was kind of on the fence as I'm personally against organ donation. It was touching that he helped those people and gave so much of himself, but it was painful to watch as well. All in all, I can't wait till the summer blockbusters are out in theaters so I can see something exciting.
I've been missing my ex. I had hoped I was past this. I've come to terms with the fact that he wasn't the man I thought he was. I've accepted that this is the best thing for us. I'm not sure why I still long for him and wish it could all be fixed. Maybe its because in movies it always works out in the end. Maybe it's because part of me still hopes the man I loved really is inside of him and will come out and come back. Maybe I'm still scared to be totally alone, I don't know. I just wish someone could tell me when it will be over. It's so much easier to get through something when you can look at the time in the future when it will be over, but I don't know when that will be. A year from now? Will I be okay with it then? Will I feel this way forever? Am I hanging onto it, or do I need to grieve through it and let go? Do I need to focus somewhere else? How do I cope, how do I get through this? How do you reset when you devoted your life to someone and suddenly that's over? For now I take it one day at a time, and tomorrow will be laundry, lessons, running the kids around, reading with them, cooking dinner, and whatever else I can squeeze in.
I'm sure in time we all get through it. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Fire, Family, Future, and the end of the AlphaBlog
First off, I'm ditching the Alphablog idea. Ironic in the fact that this post starts with "F" anyway, but whatever.
Well a lot has been going one while I've been gone! We had a wildfire here in Oklahoma (okay technically we had several, I don't remember how many, but we had one here in the OKC area that I'm talking about). I first found out about the fire when my kids called me outside to ask about the "red clouds" in the sky. At first I thought it was dirt stirred up from the winds (we had crazy winds that day), but then I noticed the smell and realized it was smoke. I told the kids something was burning and came in to check it out on the TV. Sure enough, wildfires across the state including one here locally, but it was seven miles away so I didn't think anything of it. I muted the TV and started working on homework with the kids. About 30 minutes later we realize we can hear someone talking so I jump up and check the front door and the police are outside yelling for everyone to evacuate.
Okay at this point I think the fire is still miles away so we just grab our shoes and keys and hop in the car and pull out. I didn't even think about grabbing clothes, medicine, pictures, anything. I thought we were being evacuated just as a precaution. It wasn't until I pulled out of our neighborhood and started towards my parents house that I realized how wrong I was. White ash sprinkled down on our car and the smell of smoke made my sinuses hurt. I realized the fire was a lot closer than we last heard and I started calling everyone I knew trying to get a scope on what was going on.
We drove out to my parents house and let ourselves in as they were in town shopping. I turned on the TV and watched in horror as they showed the fire approaching the high school next to my neighborhood and then the helicopter panned over to show the line of fire trucks on the road east of my house. They were drawing the line there hoping to stop the fire from spreading further. Of course that didn't help anything BEFORE that road, which happened to be where my home was.
Over the next few hours I watched the news, hoping for some sign that things would be okay. I couldn't pull away from it, and I cried and cursed and desperately hoped for a miracle. Two hours later they panned across my neighborhood again and my heart fell. The sweep of the camera was swift but I could clearly make out a line of fire devouring the fence that lined the back of the houses on my street. I didn't have time to count out which house it was at, but it didn't matter, if it was that far there was nothing to stop it.
My son turned off the TV, insisting that it was torture to continue watching it. I couldn't argue, I was lost. I kept trying to reach my ex-husband, who still did not know what was going on or that his children might now be homeless. A few hours later I finally reached him.
He insisted that the house was fine and that he was going to go there and see for himself. I told him he couldn't get to it and he said nobody would keep him from HIS house (never mind the fact that it's supposed to be MY house now). He drove as close as he could and then set off on foot to find the house. Yes, in the middle of wildfires, and the middle of the night as it was 11pm by this point, he set off on foot to walk two+ miles to check on the house. I begged him not to do it, his kids begged him not to do it, his parents begged him not to do it, co-workers and friends called him and told him not to do it. He did it anyway. He got lost, wandered a mile off course, but three hours later he finally made it.
He called me. The house had survived. The fire had devoured our fence and melted the pool and burned up part of the yard but the fire department got there and put it out as it was climbing the neighbors' tree. Thank goodness, that tree touches my roof and if it had climbed much higher my house would have been gone. We still had our home.
Two doors down they weren't so lucky. That house and the house next to it both burned down. It's devastating, heartbreaking, and amazing how some houses burned and others didn't. The house three doors down belonged to the family of a friend of my children's. I can't tell you how many times that sweet little boy would ring our doorbell asking if my kids can come out to play. He's not there now, but they are safe, and hopefully they will be able to rebuild.
Two of my daughter's classmates lost their homes, and four in my son's class are also dealing with the loss. The good side is nobody was hurt. As for us, the insurance adjuster came on Monday, by Wednesday the money was in the bank and the dumpster comes next week so we can start the clean up. We had no phone or internet for a few days, and the water and electric have come and gone a few times as the utility companies scramble to repair and replace the transformers and wells that were damaged, but life moves forward.
In other news, I had a job interview today. I'm still hoping for a job that will give me benefits and a decent wage but it's a struggle. The people I interviewed with today seemed interested but they don't offer insurance. I'm not sure if it will work out or not, but I guess I'll call next week and find out if they want me or not. If not, hopefully I'll still hear back from some other feelers.
This Sunday is my grandmother's 80th birthday. We are all getting together to celebrate, which should be fun. Tomorrow I'll bake a cake for her, and map out the directions to her house as I'll be driving there alone for the first time.
I'm doing well with my online lessons. I fell behind due to the fire and the lack of internet but my plan is to catch up this weekend. Next week is the last two lessons and then I'll have a couple of weeks off before the next set start. The plus side is by the time the next session starts the kids will be almost done with school so I won't have to work out their homework as well as mine. Hopefully I'll have a job by then as well.
Well I better close this up. I'm sure I had more to talk about but the kids have left and I need to get some things done. Have a great weekend!!
Well a lot has been going one while I've been gone! We had a wildfire here in Oklahoma (okay technically we had several, I don't remember how many, but we had one here in the OKC area that I'm talking about). I first found out about the fire when my kids called me outside to ask about the "red clouds" in the sky. At first I thought it was dirt stirred up from the winds (we had crazy winds that day), but then I noticed the smell and realized it was smoke. I told the kids something was burning and came in to check it out on the TV. Sure enough, wildfires across the state including one here locally, but it was seven miles away so I didn't think anything of it. I muted the TV and started working on homework with the kids. About 30 minutes later we realize we can hear someone talking so I jump up and check the front door and the police are outside yelling for everyone to evacuate.
Okay at this point I think the fire is still miles away so we just grab our shoes and keys and hop in the car and pull out. I didn't even think about grabbing clothes, medicine, pictures, anything. I thought we were being evacuated just as a precaution. It wasn't until I pulled out of our neighborhood and started towards my parents house that I realized how wrong I was. White ash sprinkled down on our car and the smell of smoke made my sinuses hurt. I realized the fire was a lot closer than we last heard and I started calling everyone I knew trying to get a scope on what was going on.
We drove out to my parents house and let ourselves in as they were in town shopping. I turned on the TV and watched in horror as they showed the fire approaching the high school next to my neighborhood and then the helicopter panned over to show the line of fire trucks on the road east of my house. They were drawing the line there hoping to stop the fire from spreading further. Of course that didn't help anything BEFORE that road, which happened to be where my home was.
Over the next few hours I watched the news, hoping for some sign that things would be okay. I couldn't pull away from it, and I cried and cursed and desperately hoped for a miracle. Two hours later they panned across my neighborhood again and my heart fell. The sweep of the camera was swift but I could clearly make out a line of fire devouring the fence that lined the back of the houses on my street. I didn't have time to count out which house it was at, but it didn't matter, if it was that far there was nothing to stop it.
My son turned off the TV, insisting that it was torture to continue watching it. I couldn't argue, I was lost. I kept trying to reach my ex-husband, who still did not know what was going on or that his children might now be homeless. A few hours later I finally reached him.
He insisted that the house was fine and that he was going to go there and see for himself. I told him he couldn't get to it and he said nobody would keep him from HIS house (never mind the fact that it's supposed to be MY house now). He drove as close as he could and then set off on foot to find the house. Yes, in the middle of wildfires, and the middle of the night as it was 11pm by this point, he set off on foot to walk two+ miles to check on the house. I begged him not to do it, his kids begged him not to do it, his parents begged him not to do it, co-workers and friends called him and told him not to do it. He did it anyway. He got lost, wandered a mile off course, but three hours later he finally made it.
He called me. The house had survived. The fire had devoured our fence and melted the pool and burned up part of the yard but the fire department got there and put it out as it was climbing the neighbors' tree. Thank goodness, that tree touches my roof and if it had climbed much higher my house would have been gone. We still had our home.
Two doors down they weren't so lucky. That house and the house next to it both burned down. It's devastating, heartbreaking, and amazing how some houses burned and others didn't. The house three doors down belonged to the family of a friend of my children's. I can't tell you how many times that sweet little boy would ring our doorbell asking if my kids can come out to play. He's not there now, but they are safe, and hopefully they will be able to rebuild.
Two of my daughter's classmates lost their homes, and four in my son's class are also dealing with the loss. The good side is nobody was hurt. As for us, the insurance adjuster came on Monday, by Wednesday the money was in the bank and the dumpster comes next week so we can start the clean up. We had no phone or internet for a few days, and the water and electric have come and gone a few times as the utility companies scramble to repair and replace the transformers and wells that were damaged, but life moves forward.
In other news, I had a job interview today. I'm still hoping for a job that will give me benefits and a decent wage but it's a struggle. The people I interviewed with today seemed interested but they don't offer insurance. I'm not sure if it will work out or not, but I guess I'll call next week and find out if they want me or not. If not, hopefully I'll still hear back from some other feelers.
This Sunday is my grandmother's 80th birthday. We are all getting together to celebrate, which should be fun. Tomorrow I'll bake a cake for her, and map out the directions to her house as I'll be driving there alone for the first time.
I'm doing well with my online lessons. I fell behind due to the fire and the lack of internet but my plan is to catch up this weekend. Next week is the last two lessons and then I'll have a couple of weeks off before the next set start. The plus side is by the time the next session starts the kids will be almost done with school so I won't have to work out their homework as well as mine. Hopefully I'll have a job by then as well.
Well I better close this up. I'm sure I had more to talk about but the kids have left and I need to get some things done. Have a great weekend!!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Everything is Beautiful
Evening has fallen, and I'm about to head off to bed. Tomorrow is Monday and we start the whole rush again. I had a pretty decent weekend, I got my grocery shopping done, got out for some Korean food, and worked on some things on the computer. I also came up with another story idea for the file.
Emphysema, my grandmother was in the hospital last week and has been diagnosed with Emphysema. I'm sad, but she smoked most of her life so really, it's not a big surprise. She's home now and on oxygen but otherwise doing fine. I love her.
Edward Cullens, so what is it exactly that makes Edward so sexy and hot and everything? Is it Bella's obsession with him? Is it his extreme good looks? Is it his mysterious life? Is it the danger and thrill of being so close to death? Is it the thrill of the chase? You can apply that to either the book Edward or the movie Edward, I don't care. Robert Pattinson was pretty yummy as Edward. I don't know, in the book the fact he was ice cold and marble hard was just too hard for me to get past. I'll admit I kept thinking "careful, you'll chip your teeth". Bad Tina, I know, but what can I say?
Education, my kids are thoroughly enjoying school. I am torn on that. On one hand, it kills me, I really loved homeschooling, and I wanted it to work. On the other hand, I'm so relieved they enjoy it and do well with it, and it's kind of nice to know it's taken care of. I started culling through the homeschooling stuff and getting rid of it. It's hard, but I'm getting there slowly.
Empathy, yes the novel is still untouched and unloved. Poor thing, I pour my heart and soul into writing it and then I loathe it for the bloated monster it's become. I did find a program this weekend called "Revision Hell" which is a class/challenge thing where you focus on revising 20 pages a day for (I think) two weeks. I'm thinking about trying this. I seem to do better with controlled deadlines and motivation like that, and with it only being two weeks it's not really long enough for me to procrastinate and goof off on like NaNo did. I'm also thinking about enrolling in Holly Lisle's "How to Think Sideways" course, although I'm still deciding if I can afford the almost $300 tuition. I know that has nothing to do with Empathy, but I might not be able to think of another "E" word to go into it with so I tossed it in here.
Early, well I do have to get up early tomorrow to get the kids off to school so I better close here. I could come up with more, but I guess I'll start thinking of "F". Okay, so I'm not every day but I have been sticking to the letters of the alphabet, so I can't be all bad. ;) Have a great week and take care!!
Emphysema, my grandmother was in the hospital last week and has been diagnosed with Emphysema. I'm sad, but she smoked most of her life so really, it's not a big surprise. She's home now and on oxygen but otherwise doing fine. I love her.
Edward Cullens, so what is it exactly that makes Edward so sexy and hot and everything? Is it Bella's obsession with him? Is it his extreme good looks? Is it his mysterious life? Is it the danger and thrill of being so close to death? Is it the thrill of the chase? You can apply that to either the book Edward or the movie Edward, I don't care. Robert Pattinson was pretty yummy as Edward. I don't know, in the book the fact he was ice cold and marble hard was just too hard for me to get past. I'll admit I kept thinking "careful, you'll chip your teeth". Bad Tina, I know, but what can I say?
Education, my kids are thoroughly enjoying school. I am torn on that. On one hand, it kills me, I really loved homeschooling, and I wanted it to work. On the other hand, I'm so relieved they enjoy it and do well with it, and it's kind of nice to know it's taken care of. I started culling through the homeschooling stuff and getting rid of it. It's hard, but I'm getting there slowly.
Empathy, yes the novel is still untouched and unloved. Poor thing, I pour my heart and soul into writing it and then I loathe it for the bloated monster it's become. I did find a program this weekend called "Revision Hell" which is a class/challenge thing where you focus on revising 20 pages a day for (I think) two weeks. I'm thinking about trying this. I seem to do better with controlled deadlines and motivation like that, and with it only being two weeks it's not really long enough for me to procrastinate and goof off on like NaNo did. I'm also thinking about enrolling in Holly Lisle's "How to Think Sideways" course, although I'm still deciding if I can afford the almost $300 tuition. I know that has nothing to do with Empathy, but I might not be able to think of another "E" word to go into it with so I tossed it in here.
Early, well I do have to get up early tomorrow to get the kids off to school so I better close here. I could come up with more, but I guess I'll start thinking of "F". Okay, so I'm not every day but I have been sticking to the letters of the alphabet, so I can't be all bad. ;) Have a great week and take care!!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Don't stop now
Dang it, another couple of days got away from me, again. I hate being sick!! Come on good health!
Decisions, I haven't written hardly anything in three or four weeks. Blech. But I need to get back into it, so I joined some groups, one of which offers workshops so I'm looking forward to getting involved in that. I just feel so guilty when I write because I need a job. Come on Cosmos, help a girl out here a little, eh? So I'm trying to decide how much time to devote to my writing every day where I don't feel like I'm cheating something else.
Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. Hee, that always cracks me up. I need to mow my lawn. If it isn't cut back soon it could become dangerous as we sometimes have snakes and snakes love high grass. So this week I'll learn how to use a lawn mower. Whoopee.
Don't you love it? Here I have been talking about how expensive Quickbooks is and how I need to find a copy to learn on and guess what came free with my printer cartridge yesterday? A free offer for Quickbooks Starter! Man, you ask and the universe provides, I tell you!!
Division, sixteen years ago today, my ex-husband and I officially became a couple. On April 4th we went to the medieval fair and by the end of the day we had passed from dating to "going steady". It took almost four more years before we were married, and then we were married for 12 years before we separated. Now here it is, April 4th again, and he took the kids to the Medieval fair today, and the coincidences just amuse me. What's four times four? Sixteen. (April is the fourth month, so today is 4/4)
Dragons, my son picked up a really cute stuffed dragon at the medieval fair. It's sitting on my printer at the moment, and it's red and green plaid. I wish I could sew things like that. Dragons are really neat.
Done for, well I really don't know what else to talk about with "D" and I still need to finish my lessons for the week so I guess I'm outta here. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and here's to warmer weather, excellent health, and financial security!! ;) Have a beautiful day!
Decisions, I haven't written hardly anything in three or four weeks. Blech. But I need to get back into it, so I joined some groups, one of which offers workshops so I'm looking forward to getting involved in that. I just feel so guilty when I write because I need a job. Come on Cosmos, help a girl out here a little, eh? So I'm trying to decide how much time to devote to my writing every day where I don't feel like I'm cheating something else.
Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. Hee, that always cracks me up. I need to mow my lawn. If it isn't cut back soon it could become dangerous as we sometimes have snakes and snakes love high grass. So this week I'll learn how to use a lawn mower. Whoopee.
Don't you love it? Here I have been talking about how expensive Quickbooks is and how I need to find a copy to learn on and guess what came free with my printer cartridge yesterday? A free offer for Quickbooks Starter! Man, you ask and the universe provides, I tell you!!
Division, sixteen years ago today, my ex-husband and I officially became a couple. On April 4th we went to the medieval fair and by the end of the day we had passed from dating to "going steady". It took almost four more years before we were married, and then we were married for 12 years before we separated. Now here it is, April 4th again, and he took the kids to the Medieval fair today, and the coincidences just amuse me. What's four times four? Sixteen. (April is the fourth month, so today is 4/4)
Dragons, my son picked up a really cute stuffed dragon at the medieval fair. It's sitting on my printer at the moment, and it's red and green plaid. I wish I could sew things like that. Dragons are really neat.
Done for, well I really don't know what else to talk about with "D" and I still need to finish my lessons for the week so I guess I'm outta here. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and here's to warmer weather, excellent health, and financial security!! ;) Have a beautiful day!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Can't quit now
Coincidentally, I missed a day. What can I say, I was sick, I felt like crap, I had to run out to the store and deal with homework with the kids and homework for myself, and I actually sat down to write it once, and got sidetracked before I did it. On the positive side, I'm here now, even though I'm terribly pressed for time, which should make for a short post, right?
Cadbury's, well Easter is next weekend, can you believe it?? I always think of Cadbury's and their eggs at Easter time. When I was a kid I thought they had real egg yolks and it grossed me out every time I saw someone eat one. Ick!! Now I know it's not really egg yolks, but they still gross me out, I have no idea why.
Children, well today is my daughter's play. This will be her first ever performance and she plays a leopard. She has two lines and sings a song and dances a dance. It will be interesting to see how she does. I think she will be great though. My son is all over the performance thing, he loves to put on shows and film movies with his camera. Future director/producer/actor/everything else right there. I once asked him if he wanted to join the drama club when he got into high school so he could be an actor and he told me "Mom, I don't just act, I direct, do the sound effects, build sets, I'm the whole package." Too cute!
Coughing, man I'm ready to be over this cold. I don't like the general 'blech' feeling you have when you are sick. Hopefully it will be gone soon so I can enjoy my weekend.
Completion, I finished my lessons for the day! Whoohoo!! I'm loving Excel and Accounting now, I can't wait to sign up for the next cycle of those, Admin still wears me down and honestly, I'm testing out of the Computers for the Workplace. I know everything they are covering, what's the point of taking the lesson??
Crap, I really need to get out of here, I need to run to the school for my daughter's dress rehearsal. I'm sure I could come up with more 'C' things, but since I'm short on time I'll leave it there. I promise 'D' will be better. Have a wonderful day!!
Cadbury's, well Easter is next weekend, can you believe it?? I always think of Cadbury's and their eggs at Easter time. When I was a kid I thought they had real egg yolks and it grossed me out every time I saw someone eat one. Ick!! Now I know it's not really egg yolks, but they still gross me out, I have no idea why.
Children, well today is my daughter's play. This will be her first ever performance and she plays a leopard. She has two lines and sings a song and dances a dance. It will be interesting to see how she does. I think she will be great though. My son is all over the performance thing, he loves to put on shows and film movies with his camera. Future director/producer/actor/everything else right there. I once asked him if he wanted to join the drama club when he got into high school so he could be an actor and he told me "Mom, I don't just act, I direct, do the sound effects, build sets, I'm the whole package." Too cute!
Coughing, man I'm ready to be over this cold. I don't like the general 'blech' feeling you have when you are sick. Hopefully it will be gone soon so I can enjoy my weekend.
Completion, I finished my lessons for the day! Whoohoo!! I'm loving Excel and Accounting now, I can't wait to sign up for the next cycle of those, Admin still wears me down and honestly, I'm testing out of the Computers for the Workplace. I know everything they are covering, what's the point of taking the lesson??
Crap, I really need to get out of here, I need to run to the school for my daughter's dress rehearsal. I'm sure I could come up with more 'C' things, but since I'm short on time I'll leave it there. I promise 'D' will be better. Have a wonderful day!!
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