A little more detail

Well I had my first job interview last night. All in all I thought it went well. I didn't cry and I didn't freak out, well at least not there, so hey, that's a success, right? I did cry and freak out at home, but then again, I have to go through those maelstroms to release that energy so I can breathe again. I still wish I could just stay home and write, but I know that I will get to that point someday.

I can't remember if I mentioned in the last post about my new story or not, but I'm writing a mystery. Actually, it's a psychological suspense, but I believe that's a sub genre of mystery, and if it's not, don't tell me because I'm doing this for a mystery class and I've had a hell of time working it out and I think I'm actually doing well for once, so leave me to my delusions. The mystery class is part of my local writing group, which I love. It's wonderful to go and sit with those ladies and just hear all the great stories. It's also nice to get to be just an adult for awhile without kids. My new story is really tense and kind of tricky because it's about a guy with all sorts of interesting neurosis's and issues and digging into that, both what causes it and what that makes him do, it's fascinating. I love to just crawl inside his head and look around, and see the world through his filters. Amazing!

I mentioned in my last post that I'm getting divorced. We haven't started the paperwork yet but it is definitely over. It's been almost two months now since he left, and I'm surprised at how well we all adjusted. It's really for the best, and I think we will both be happier in the long run, although I do mourn the loss of our relationship. My views on marriage are all screwed up now too, I don't know if I could ever do that again, but I guess if the right guy came along I would probably jump in again. I don't know, it's one of those things that I'm not planning on, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

The kids started public school and really enjoy it. It was hard on me at first losing our homeschooling, but I coped through it. I did cry when they got on the bus the first day, but really it was my daughter's first day ever to go off to school, and I cried when my son first went off to school in Kindergarten so it was to be expected. I'm such a girl sometimes. Anyway, I cried for a few minutes then I was okay, so all in all we adjusted well.

I found out my daughter was allergic to our pets so we had to give up our three cats and one dog. The other dog had been hurting and she was put down a few weeks prior. That was hard, and really tore up my ex. It was hard seeing him go through that. It broke my heart, he was so upset.

As for me, well I'm adjusting to being single and on my own. It's kind of weird, and kind of nice. It's a lot of responsibility, being the only parent, having to do all the cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, all the errands, all the homework, everything, but I'm managing. My therapist said I was intelligent and doing a wonderful job coping. Actually everyone says I'm doing a wonderful job coping, only they say it in a weird way like they are shocked. I don't know if that means that they expect me to be a basket case or what, but it's odd. The other thing they all keep telling me is how I will find someone else, as if it would be bad for me to be alone. I think it would be good to be able to be okay alone, but I think it will be okay. There are some wonderful people out there, I've been blessed to know a few, and it would be wonderful to find one to keep. At the very least my heart beats and it lets me know I'm alive.

I absolutely love driving my car. It's so funny because I used to get so bugged out with driving, and I still get a little bugged out in some places, but I love that little green monster. It's funny because that model has a grill that people have said look like sharks teeth, and from the front it does look pretty aggressive for such a cute little sedan, but I love it. And after all this time, I find I like to drive fast. Not like insanely fast, but I'll admit I can finally understand why my ex always wanted to go five to ten miles over the speed limit. I would love to go someplace where you can just floor it, I love to accelerate. I'm sure there is some kind of sexual connotation to be made there, but I'll leave it up to you to make it. I love to have the radio up loud, singing along and just moving down the road. Beautiful!!

It's getting warmer here, and it looks like that damn groundhog might have been okay after all. I'm so ready for spring!! I keep checking the long outlook but everything is looking like it's getting warmer and warmer. We are actually supposed to get up to 76 later this week. Woohoo, heatwave!! I might just wash my car again.

Well I better close this up and eat something. I hope you all have a wonderful day! Peace, Love, and Cookies!!